day 45 (week 7, day 3)
Published June 16th, 2008 in reflectRead Romans 7:19-24. Do you ever feel like this? Examples?
Yes, Lord. I do and I have. Many times. This course of praying has challenged me mightily as I learn more of myself and my relationship with You. Habits can be difficult to train or reroute into healthy behavior.
For example: a smoker realizes the health risks of smoking and wants to quit. But his tongue craves the nicotine and flavor of the cigarette. His fingers long for the pose they assume as they grasp the small addiction for his lips to take hold. And still his mind wants to quit. I have never been a smoker but I have craved my own brand of “nicotine” that was caustic and dangerous to me physically and spiritually. I have done what I knew I didn’t want to do and not done what I wanted to. Lord, save me from myself. Amen.
I’m reminded of a song that Smalltown Poets sang years ago, entitled “Everything I Hate.” This was their breakthrough song and it rang loudly to me right around the time I accepted Christ. It’s still a great and true song. Listen to it.
james tomasino goes into this in depth on his blog. We had a wonderful exchange because i
wanted to know why we keep returning to sin. While he is much more eloquent than i
he explained to me that its because the way of the flesh is the pleasure that we can feel now
but by following the path of Christ and partaking in his suffering we find real joy–eternal joy.
“For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice”
This tale has a happy ending, for Jesus left that the Comforter might come. The
Holy Spirit inside of us is the POWER to live a holy life.
But for me to be perfectly honest even as i type what i know is the right path something inside of me wants to revolt.
So its that progressively putting to death the sinful appetites of the lower nature and continually being led by the Spirit of Life, that allows us to continue to the finish. We must wake up each day
and make a concious choice to live for Christ.